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Have you ever been in a situation where someone shares something really tough with you? Maybe a friend is going through a divorce, lost their job, or someone close to them has passed away. In those moments, it’s hard to know what to say. You don’t want to say the wrong thing, but you also don’t want to stay silent. If you’ve ever felt this way, you’re not alone. It’s common to feel unsure about how to respond when someone is hurting. But here’s the good news: there are simple ways you can show you care and make them feel truly understood. Today, we’ll explore two powerful phrases that can help you offer support when someone needs it most.
Why Is It So Hard to Know What to Say?
When someone we care about is going through a tough time, we want to be there for them. But often, we’re not sure how. We worry about saying the wrong thing or making the person feel worse. Sometimes, we even say things like, “Everything will be okay,” or “Stay strong,” hoping to make them feel better. But while these words come from a place of kindness, they might not always be what the person needs to hear.
Imagine this: your friend tells you they just lost their job. They’re upset, scared, and unsure of what to do next. You might feel the urge to say something like, “You’ll find another job soon!” While this is a positive statement, it might not help your friend feel truly understood in that moment. What they might need more is someone to listen and let them express their feelings.
Feeling understood and heard is a powerful thing. It can help us feel less alone in our struggles and more connected to the people around us. But how can we offer this kind of support?
Two Simple Phrases to Make Someone Feel Heard
Here’s a secret: you don’t need to have all the answers to be a good friend. Sometimes, the best way to show support is simply to listen and let the other person know that you’re there for them. And there are two powerful phrases that can help you do just that:
"Tell me more."
This phrase is like an open door. It invites the person to share more about what they’re going through without feeling rushed or judged. Let’s go back to the example of your friend who lost their job. Instead of saying, “You’ll find another job soon,” try saying, “Tell me more about how you’re feeling.” This simple phrase shows that you’re interested in their experience and willing to listen.
"How has this been affecting you?"
This question goes a step further by encouraging the person to explore and share their feelings in more depth. It’s a gentle way of showing that you care about their well-being. If your friend responds to “Tell me more” by saying, “I’m just worried about my family and what we’re going to do,” you might follow up with, “How has this been affecting you?” This lets them know that it’s okay to talk about their feelings and that you’re there to listen.
These two phrases—"Tell me more" and "How has this been affecting you?"—are powerful tools for deepening your connection with someone who is struggling. They show that you’re not just there to offer quick fixes but to be a genuine support.
Discovering the Path Forward Together
When we use these simple phrases, we create a space where people feel safe to open up. It’s in this space that true healing and understanding can happen. But it’s not just about listening; it’s about being present and showing empathy.
Empathy is when we put ourselves in someone else’s shoes and try to understand how they’re feeling. It’s about being there for them without trying to solve all their problems. When you say, “Tell me more,” you’re giving them a chance to share their story in their own words. You’re showing that you value their feelings and experiences.
Consider this scenario: a friend tells you, “I’ve been really struggling with anxiety lately. It’s been hard to get through the day.” Instead of immediately offering advice, you say, “Tell me more about what’s been going on.” This opens up the conversation and lets them know you’re interested in hearing more. They might feel more comfortable sharing details, and this can lead to a deeper, more supportive conversation.
When you ask, “How has this been affecting you?” you’re showing that you’re not just interested in the facts but in how the situation is impacting them emotionally. This can help them feel more connected to you and more understood.
Simple Steps to Start Supporting Your Loved Ones Today
Ready to start using these phrases in your conversations? Here are some simple steps to help you offer support and make your loved ones feel truly heard:
Listen More Than You Speak: When someone is sharing something difficult, focus on listening rather than talking. Give them the space to express themselves.
Use “Tell Me More”: Practice saying, “Tell me more” when someone shares something with you. This encourages them to keep talking and shows you’re interested in their experience.
Ask, “How Has This Been Affecting You?”: Use this question to invite the person to share more about their feelings. It shows you care about how they’re coping emotionally.
Avoid Jumping to Solutions: Resist the urge to immediately offer advice or solutions. Sometimes, people just need to feel heard and understood.
Show Empathy: Try to imagine what the person is feeling. Use phrases like, “That sounds really tough” or “I’m here for you” to show empathy and support.
Be Present: Put away distractions and give the person your full attention. Being fully present can make a big difference in making them feel valued and supported.
By following these steps, you can create more meaningful connections and help your loved ones feel truly heard and understood.
Keeping Your Motivation to Support Others Alive
Supporting others, especially when they’re going through tough times, can be challenging. It requires patience, empathy, and a willingness to listen. But remember, the impact of your support can be profound. When people feel truly heard, they often feel more hopeful and less alone in their struggles.
Think about a time when someone really listened to you. How did it make you feel? Chances are, it made you feel valued and cared for. By offering this kind of support to others, you’re not just helping them—you’re also building stronger, more meaningful relationships.
Consider the story of Sarah. Sarah’s friend was going through a rough time after a breakup. Instead of offering advice right away, Sarah simply said, “Tell me more about how you’re feeling.” Her friend was surprised but relieved. It felt good to be able to talk openly without being interrupted or judged. Over time, their conversations became deeper, and their friendship grew stronger.
Remember, being there for others doesn’t mean you have to have all the answers. Sometimes, just being a good listener and showing that you care is enough.
Insights from Dr. Peter Gagliardo
Dr. Peter Gagliardo, a holistic health coach with over 20 years of experience, understands the power of truly listening. "Many people feel they need to have the perfect words to say, but often, just being there and saying, ‘Tell me more’ can be incredibly powerful," he says.
Dr. Gagliardo emphasizes the importance of empathy in building strong connections. "When you show empathy, you’re showing that you care about the person’s experience, not just the problem," he explains. "This can create a deeper sense of trust and support."
He also encourages people to be mindful of their responses. "Instead of jumping to solutions, focus on being present and listening," he advises. "Sometimes, just knowing someone is there to listen can make all the difference."
Dr. Gagliardo’s advice is simple but effective: be a good listener, show empathy, and remember that sometimes, the best support is simply being there.
Take Your Next Step Toward Wellness
Are you ready to start building stronger, more meaningful connections with the people you care about? Don’t wait—take the first step today! Why not take the next step by scheduling a free discovery call with us? Click here to book your call. During this call, we’ll explore ways to help you develop deeper, more supportive relationships with your loved ones.
Remember, you’re not alone on this journey. We’re here to support you every step of the way, just like a friend cheering you on. Take that first step today, and see how much stronger your connections can become!
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